I walk closer feelings of exuberance decidedly set in

For him- this important milestone

Stopped short in my tracks

All feeling gushing from my head to the tips of my flip-flopped toes

Numb to the force so powerful of what I see before me

Hurts so deep inside blood should be pouring out of every pore covering my body

Tears instead- uncontrolled chaos ensues within 

Hidden safely behind my shades concealed eyes so blurred

By waterlogged confusion and self-doubt all over again

Blaming myself for something I knew nothing about

Another manipulation a diabolical plan in my face

All part of his ongoing war of forever revenge which will never end- for him

I am done- breathe deep tears dry up sun shines the game goes on

I am here for you my son and that will never change