NUMB TODAY


Comfortably so like the song
But not to the point of being dumb
The kids don’t care
The dog’s going to die
Just leave me be
I’m ok
Scarily so no emotions to feel
Is this my new way to deal?
Why can’t I feel
Should I worry?
I just can’t
Not in me
All gone, spent on the past
Nothing left
On an emotional fast
I’m going to go with it
Just be you see
I have that in me
As I continue to be
Numb today

S


S a squiggly snaking line
Ends where it begins or
Begins where it ends
The choice is yours to make
What the meaning is
Of this supposed symbol of meaningful
Alphabetical line that hisses out-loud
Tongue touching teeth
Careful though
Of the sneaky disguise
C what I mean?
:P

Prompted by fellow blogger extraordinaire-  J A @ http://runningfather.wordpress.com

SWEET DEVASTATION


I walk closer feelings of exuberance decidedly set in

For him- this important milestone

Stopped short in my tracks

All feeling gushing from my head to the tips of my flip-flopped toes

Numb to the force so powerful of what I see before me

Hurts so deep inside blood should be pouring out of every pore covering my body

Tears instead- uncontrolled chaos ensues within 

Hidden safely behind my shades concealed eyes so blurred

By waterlogged confusion and self-doubt all over again

Blaming myself for something I knew nothing about

Another manipulation a diabolical plan in my face

All part of his ongoing war of forever revenge which will never end- for him

I am done- breathe deep tears dry up sun shines the game goes on

I am here for you my son and that will never change

 

PANIC


Guilt sets in

An emotion full of angst

Energy wasted worrying

from deep within

Others can’t see it, feel it, touch it

It is time consuming thoughts of negativity

Only within my control

Anxiety overtakes me

Like a foreign body a virus

Makes me feel sick my heart quick my breath shallow

Covered in sweat

I remember this feeling from before

And realize it is only I who can slam the door

Block its path to my inner core

I breathe deep and slow

Remember that place that brings a smile to my face

Relax the tidal wave of fear

Remember the good and those that are dear

Another deep breath watch it all disappear

 

WHERE THE WORDS ARE


Here I am day twenty-one
Stuck again, nothing within
So where do I begin?
I will start here with this pen
Write a word watch it unfold
Then I will try on more
And look deep within my core
Where I have been many times before
It is within these walls the best words float
Through long halls of pictures old and new
Memories I think they are called
Colored in so many hues
A vast gallery so fine so delicate
The renderings quickly disappear
With merely the slightest move
Quietly I tiptoe through
My mind silent careful not to touch what’s there
I stay for a short moment look around
Then decide to visit again tomorrow

BIRTHDAY PARTY


The innocence of youth
So lovely to watch
Playing together carefree, unscathed
Eyes sparkling, mouths singing smiles
Laughter, the sound I hear
Running through the grass no fear
Moving so quickly it’s like they disappear
Into the cool spring air
Talking about everything this and that
Within a language all their own
Makes me remember a time so long ago